So my goal for this summer was to spend time focusing on me. I figured it was the opportune time since my other half was out of town for 3 months. Unfortunately, it wasn't fun.
Summer theatre was a struggle I did not expect at all. The assignments I got were fantastic and I am incredibly grateful for the opportunities I was given. This summer was full of diversity. However, it was a great struggle. I was hoping for a last summer fling with Emporia involving going out to the bars frequently, swimming, working out every day... Needless to say at didn't happen. I was put into a position of authority which separated me from my friends. I didn't have much of a social life. I let one person stress me so much with their lack of work that my daily working out, eating and sleeping habits and my social life (what very little of it i had) suffered.
On top of that my father unexpectedly lost is job. this has forced me to grow up even more. No asking for 20 bucks when I go home for gas money. No asking mom if she would mind buying me a new pair of jeans before fall... Granted, that may be more spoiled than a lot of people are, but I was hoping for a tad bit more help until I started my job with WCTDC.
Due to that and not being able to find a part time job in Emporia, I felt inclined to stay at home for a couple weeks at the end of the summer. I came home to help my little brother with what I could for the fair. That weekend, my family headed up to KC to help with moving my grandparents out of their house into an assisted living apartment. That was hard. Lots of memories, lots of siblings and lots of emotion. The next week was full of helping out on the farm any way I could.
Through working with people I am close to all summer and from helping my family through some tough situations, I have learned so much about myself. It's not about who I am as my own entity or how I can do things on my own to improve myself, it's about how I react with others - how I contribute to situations. Some of the lessons were learned in a not so pleasant way.... Others had that int of realization during the moment so I could savor it...
So what did I learn about myself? I am a very strong willed person who expects the best out of everyone. I don't set limits onto people, I expect them to work to continually improve. I do well with keeping a lot of my concerns internalized. Unfortunately, that makes it more difficult for me to be wholly aware of my surroundings and it also makes it difficult for me to not close out of relationships I have.... Did I improve myself this summer? I don't know. But I did bring to the surface many of my flaws I would like to fix.
Now I'm with Joshie again. So I don't have to do it on my own, because life is far more fun to go through with someone else. :)
